Blessed Be the Flexible

Right after I walk through the agenda, do introductions, and set ground rules, I always say the same thing. It always gets a laugh:

"Blessed be the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape."

I first heard it from a facilitator I worked with in Alaska, in meetings where I was a participant. It stuck with me. Now I use the phrase in every meeting I lead.

No matter how much thought you've put into an agenda, things change. A conversation goes deeper than expected, or an issue comes up that needs more time. Sometimes it’s subtler – maybe the energy in the room tells you that something different is needed. A well-designed agenda is a roadmap, not a contract. The destination stays the same; the route might not.

This matters for facilitators, of course. I've called an unplanned break when a room needed to recalibrate, shifted to a pair-and-share when a plenary discussion wasn't landing, and pushed agenda items to give a conversation the time it actually needed. None of those were in the original plan, yet all of them served the outcome.

But flexibility isn't only a facilitator skill. Participants need it too, which is exactly why I name it out loud at the start.

When people know upfront that the agenda might shift, they're not thrown off when it does. A change in plans feels less like something's gone wrong, and more like part of a responsive process. That's a small framing shift that makes a real difference in the room.

The goal isn't to protect the agenda. It's to protect the outcome.

So: plan carefully, design with intention, and then hold the plan loosely. Know where you're going. Stay open to how you get there.

Blessed be the flexible.